Secrets / Stuff People Don't Know About Me
1) I pretend that I am naturally skinny. Correction - I used to be naturally skinny. Now I have to work at it. More than I care to admit. But I always make a big deal about how I can eat whatever I want without having to think about it/gaining any weight. I talk about how I am addicted to MacDonalds, how I do no exercise, how I spend entire weekends doing nothing but eating. Not entirely true. Sorry. I do actually work at it. And I am now a size 12, not a size 10 like I tell everyone.
2) Although I snigger and poke fun at the people who are depressed that they can't live in the world of Avatar for real, I was genuinely sad when I got to the end of the Twilight series and read the final page of "Breaking Dawn" because I had become so attached to Edward, Bella etc that I still can't quite get to grips with the idea that I don't get to read about them more. If there is a petition to make Stephenie Meyer write a fifth book (about the Cullens disbanding the Volturi) please let me know so I can sign it. I am being serious.
3) There was a boy at my school - he was the most intelligent, talented and good looking boy in my year. And he's dead now. I don't know how or why and I just can't get my head around it. He was only 27. And he died abroad. On his own. Away from his friends, his family, everyone. After school, from what I can tell, he succombed to the darkness, the depression that had always surrounded him, that had quite possibly made him the brilliant person that he was. And so he shut everyone he had ever known out. Back then I vaguely thought about trying to keep in touch. But I didn't try hard enough. Because I think I was too embarrassed at the potential rejection. I had always thought that one day we would get back in touch. I would develop from being the geeky duckling into a more confident swan and be more worthwhile of knowing him, being his friend. But now it's too late. And I keep thinking about how many opportunities I have had since I left school... nine years ago... to get back in touch. He had a blog. A blog, that reading now, makes me wonder why the people who did read it when he was alive didn't do something, flag to someone the dark thoughts that spilled out. Because they were dark. But maybe they too lacked the confidence to approach him. And I found out he was dead when my blackberry beeped one evening on the way home from work inviting me to an event... celebrating his life. Through facebook. Which is really the biggest insult. Facebook. The moral is... this is one of my biggest regrets. Thinking about someone, but not actually taking the next step of contacting them, letting them know that I am thinking about them. Which is what I should have done.
2) Although I snigger and poke fun at the people who are depressed that they can't live in the world of Avatar for real, I was genuinely sad when I got to the end of the Twilight series and read the final page of "Breaking Dawn" because I had become so attached to Edward, Bella etc that I still can't quite get to grips with the idea that I don't get to read about them more. If there is a petition to make Stephenie Meyer write a fifth book (about the Cullens disbanding the Volturi) please let me know so I can sign it. I am being serious.
3) There was a boy at my school - he was the most intelligent, talented and good looking boy in my year. And he's dead now. I don't know how or why and I just can't get my head around it. He was only 27. And he died abroad. On his own. Away from his friends, his family, everyone. After school, from what I can tell, he succombed to the darkness, the depression that had always surrounded him, that had quite possibly made him the brilliant person that he was. And so he shut everyone he had ever known out. Back then I vaguely thought about trying to keep in touch. But I didn't try hard enough. Because I think I was too embarrassed at the potential rejection. I had always thought that one day we would get back in touch. I would develop from being the geeky duckling into a more confident swan and be more worthwhile of knowing him, being his friend. But now it's too late. And I keep thinking about how many opportunities I have had since I left school... nine years ago... to get back in touch. He had a blog. A blog, that reading now, makes me wonder why the people who did read it when he was alive didn't do something, flag to someone the dark thoughts that spilled out. Because they were dark. But maybe they too lacked the confidence to approach him. And I found out he was dead when my blackberry beeped one evening on the way home from work inviting me to an event... celebrating his life. Through facebook. Which is really the biggest insult. Facebook. The moral is... this is one of my biggest regrets. Thinking about someone, but not actually taking the next step of contacting them, letting them know that I am thinking about them. Which is what I should have done.
posted by Scotgirl @ 9:43 PM
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